SLL Week 3 – Monday Encouragement

Stressed Less Living Blog image final

“We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments.”

2 Corinthians 10:4 (NLT)

 It happened in a deep moment of prayer with eyes tightly shut. A vision that changed my marriage from that moment forward.

As I listened to the sermon, my face began to feel flush. The preacher’s words about breaking strongholds in our lives were hitting too close to home. He explained how a stronghold is simply a faulty line of thinking based on lies and deceptions, causing us to defend our thoughts and beliefs through human reasoning instead of God’s.  And in that moment, I knew my mind had been under attack.

As if God had leaned down and whispered quietly into my ear, I suddenly became aware that despite the reasons I felt valid in my feelings of unforgiveness and negativity towards my husband, these thoughts had given the enemy a stronghold in my heart, affecting not only my marriage and my stress levels as I stressed about my marriage, but my relationship with God as well.

You see, there had been a lack of marital bliss in my house for months. My mind had slowly become so full of critical inner chatter about my husband that I could hardly focus on all the good things about him. Although I was aware of this problem, I didn’t know how damaging it had become to our relationship. So I bowed my head in prayer and asked God to help me break the stronghold the enemy had over my thoughts about my husband.

Then instantly, in my mind’s eye, I saw a thick triple woven rope being pulled to the breaking point until it snapped, with fiber splinters shooting in every direction. My eyes popped open, amazed at what I had just “seen”.

Peace filled my heart, melting away my negativity, and replacing it with a desire to love my husband and our marriage, despite his shortcomings and mess ups, and despite my own. The stronghold in my mind and heart that had been keeping my marriage in conflict had been broken through the weapon of prayer and God had allowed me the spiritual vision to “see” the evidence of His love and His power release the enemy’s grip on my heart.

In 2 Corinthians 10:4 above, Paul addresses this issue of strongholds when writing to the congregation of Corinth.  At the time of this letter, Paul had been under great scrutiny for his assumed shortcomings. Many thought he was a weak and ineffectual preacher and boasted of their own achievements, seeing themselves as superior to him. Their negativity towards Paul and his preachings had permeated their minds, causing them to gradually stop focusing on Christ, and focusing on critical, self centered thoughts instead.

In 2 Corinthians 10:5, Paul exclaimed to them, “We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ” (NLT). Paul knew the enemy had a stronghold over the hearts of the Corinthians, causing them to see things from the world’s perspective, instead of a holy one. He wanted them to understand their minds needed cleansing from all the obstacles that were standing in between them and God – all the lies and deception from the enemy – and that only the sword of the Spirit could snap that stronghold in two.

Just like the Corinthians, we all struggle with mental strongholds at times, especially in marriage relationships. Marriage is one of the top five stressors today, and there is no wonder why. It’s just plain hard sometimes. Due to the challenges that work, money, parenting and problems bring into a marriage, every day our minds may be bombarded with a flow of negative thoughts, hurt, doubts, fears, anger and suspicions. Movies fill our heads with false images about how intimate relationships and marriage are supposed to be and we start thinking our man, and our marriage, doesn’t measure up. Granted there are times when relationships cannot be mended, but our culture influences us to believe that if a marriage isn’t perfect, it can be deemed as disposable. (click to tweet)

The only cure for a spiritual stronghold is prayer and allowing God’s truths and His Word to reign in our hearts. Unless we consciously choose to pray for God’s grace to renew our minds and seek His power to snap the strongholds we struggle with in two, we will become imminent prey to the antics of the one who hates happy marriages. The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy – and oh how he loves to tear down marriages.

On that particular Sunday where I experienced this vision from God’s, I knew I was set free from the stronghold of negativity. But the battle is a daily one – and he is always trying to weave that rope back together and tighten the chokehold; rebuilding the stronghold, filling our heads with lies.  Marriage is hard work sometimes, but nothing is too hard with God.

What comfort it brings to know that God is ready to help us fight for our marriages, and that the spiritual weapon of prayer is no match for the enemy’s strongholds. (click to tweet)

Lord, help me to break free from the strongholds in my heart that are causing problems in my marriage and my relationship with You. Give me the ability to push past my hurts and the hurtful memories, and to try to look for the good in my husband. Show me how I need to change and give me the strength, comfort and peace that only You can provide as I persevere through hard days. I seek your blessing – of peace, or of restoration – and I trust You no matter what. Help me to stop stressing out and start praying out my needs. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

What stressors are you facing in your marriage today, and how can I pray for you?  Leave a quick comment on the blog and I’d be honored to do so.

(Be sure to tune in on Wednesday where I’ll be having a special book giveaway.)

____________________

IF RECEIVING THIS POST IN EMAIL, CLICK HERE TO WATCH TODAY’S VIDEO 

____________________

THIS WEEK’S READING ASSIGNMENT IS CHAPTERS FIVE AND SIX

21 Comments

  1. Amy on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 8:37 am

    Thank you, Tracie, for this blog post and video. Both have left me in tears. I feel as if I’m at where you were all those years ago when you went to the car wash. Thank you for your prayers.



    • Tracie on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 11:32 am

      Praying for you Amy. God can do what we think is impossible. Restoration is His speciality. 🙂 Praying He makes His Presence known in your life and that you can see Him at work in your circumstances and that He gives you strength to persevere.



  2. Melissa on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 9:24 am

    Thank you Tracie, for your ministry and this post and video. I am so thankful that my husband is so patient with me. I am sick a lot and he never complains about taking care of me. I have to cancel plans at the last minute, and I never know how I will feel. I thank God for this wonderful man, who loves me and continues to show me love every moment. I hope my husband knows how much he is appreciated and loved. I make sure to let him know that I am thankful for him and proud of him.
    I think the stressors in our lives are caused by my sicknesses.



  3. Tara on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 9:59 am

    Thank you Tracie. What you have shared in this post and this video are confirmation to me of what God has been telling me – specifically that I need to pray for my marriage and I need to pray for the state of my own heart. Over the past two years my husband and I have weathered his infidelity, followed by him finally and truly accepting and receiving Christ into his heart. He was recently baptized and God has brought us worlds away from the anger, hurt, bitterness, and resentment we were living in. But I know God isn’t finished with us! I believe that He wants His redemption of our marriage to be the greatest testimony of our lives. I believe He wants so much more for us – and I am praying that I will live and love like it.



    • Tracie on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 11:34 am

      Tara – what an amazing testimony of God’s restoration of your marriage, but also of your faith to be able to forgive and persevere and see God’s miracles taking place in you both. Praying for HIs continued peace and purpose.



  4. Audra on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 10:33 am

    My husband and I are faced with the typical stressors—money and parenting. Those never seem to go away, but I know that we could we handing the stress in a better and godly way.

    My husband is a pastor and has to endure the enemy trying to constantly tear him down—and these struggles permeate into our marriage. Your blog entry reminded me that I need to pray to the One, the only One, who can give my husband and I true strength and endurance through any of life’s storms. Too often, we try to fix the issues ourselves—but you reminded me that God longs to have an intimate part in our lives—it just takes inviting Him in.

    I’m thoroughly enjoying the book and study so far! Thank you for putting this together for us!!!



    • Tracie on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 11:35 am

      Thank you Audra – so many of us forget that pastors and their families need as much prayer as anyone else. Praying for God to bless you both and reward your faith as you continue to serve HIs kingdom!



  5. Coleen on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 10:51 am

    Tracie

    Thank you so much for this word. The Lord has been speaking to me about my marriage for a while now. I know we are in trouble but my husband does not feel the need to seek counselling as he is a private person. Our family has gone through several situations which has negatively impacted our finances. My husband has not been committed to a business venture for any period longer than 6 months. We have young adult children and they just believe that their dad needs to grow up. He also has a problem with forgiveness which stems from past hurts. It has impacted his relationship with our children in particular our eldest . I have considered divorce. Right now we reside in different countries due to my job. I know I have a part to play in making this marriage work but how do we move on when the other party is not willing to seek help.



    • Tracie on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 11:37 am

      Coleen – it sounds like you have a very difficult dynamic, living apart in different countries. It’s hard to work on relationship with you’re so far apart and dont spend as much time together. I just want to encourage you to pray for your husband every day, fervently and consistently. Ask for God to intervene, and I pray that on your behalf. And if you havent seen it yet, go see the movie War Room thats in the theaters right now. It’s an awesome movie and one that can give us all hope when we think the marriage might be over. Hugs to you!



  6. June Biedma on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 11:31 am

    Tracie, thank you so much for your amazing Bible Study! My husband has been physically caring for me over the past 3-1/2 years while I have been ill with pancreatic cancer. I feel thankful most of all, but also horrendously guilty and that I am a heavy burden on him. Please pray for us. Thank you.



    • Tracie on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 11:38 am

      June – a devoted and patient and loving husband is definitely something to be thankful for. I can understand how you feel guilty, but I bet in small ways, God is blessing him too, through your relationship and through his unselfish devotions to you. Praying for you both!



  7. Michol on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 12:56 pm

    Tracie,

    I love your posts and your book, Your Life Still Counts, was an absolute blessing to me. Today’s post was very timely as well. I am struggling because God is asking me to leave a relationship that I am in to remarry my ex-husband. I have not been in a relationship with him for over ten years and we have been divorced for five years (though we have remained friendly with one another and forgiveness has taken place).

    I have a lot of strongholds over his past behaviors, etc. that are keeping me from having peace about what God is asking of me. I know without a doubt that God can restore our relationship. However, I just don’t trust the two of us to allow God to do everything he needs to do in order to get rid of the junk that could hold us back from having the marriage that God wants us to have. In addition, I am having a really hard time letting go of the guy I am currently with. Prayer would certainly be appreciated!

    Thank you!



    • Tracie on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 7:06 pm

      Michol – that is a very trying situation. Im praying for God to give you crystal clear clarity and direction about the decisions you are facing, and convict your heart as to which way to turn.



  8. D Davis on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 1:15 pm

    Thank you for sharing this post! It is speaking to me in more ways than one. I am currently struggling with letting go of the pain and hurt that my husband of less than 2 yrs has caused me & our family due to his behavior. I am praying that God relieves me of my deep grief and restores this marriage if that is His will. Any prayers are greatly appreciated. Thank you!



    • Tracie on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 7:08 pm

      D – praying for you and your husband! Praying for God to convict your husbands heart so he will understand how his behavior is affecting your marriage and how he can change, and for God to fill you with a supernatural ability to forgive and persevere. And also, peace for your heart as you lie in the wait of what God’s will is and how He will work in your marriage.



  9. Natalie Tull on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 10:29 pm

    Let me be honest…….As we started off todays blog about marriage, in my mind I thought I dont really need to read all of this because I am not married but, I decided to go ahead and read it anyway and watch the video. Needless to say the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart as I read and listened. As I said I am not married but I do have children. The relationship that I have with the father of my son is very trying and difficult. I care very deeply for him but know that he is not living for God and some of the things he does in his life are not good for him or for the kids to be around which breaks my heart. I am raising the boys as a single mom having to have made the hard decision that he cannot be apart of their life until he gets himself together. Even though he is not my husband what God spoke to me thru you Tracie is that I need to pray for him. I need to pray hard for him and that he will come to know the Lord who is the only one who can transform him heart! In the meantime, I have to raise the boys up in Christ and live the best life for Jesus that I can as an example to them. If you feel called, I would appreciate prayer for the father of my children. His name is Tay. Thank You for you words today Tracie, I am glad to be starting a fresh new week of studying Gods Word with you, Diana, and all the ladies. <3



  10. Debra on Monday, September 28, 2015 at 10:31 pm

    Tracie, your words spoke right to me, marriage is hard at times and you have to be mindful of the schemes of the enemy and how he is out to destroy the family, I find myself getting caught up in the thoughts in my mind. Your book has already helped me so much and has gotten me back in prayer. My marriage does need prayer, my husband has turned back to drinking and has brought back a flood of emotions in me that I’m having to deal with all over again, but I have made up my mind and the enemy is not stealing my family. The fight has come back in me, and I would love the prayers of my Sister’s in this study, I already feel such a connection with you all.



  11. Sharon C. on Tuesday, September 29, 2015 at 3:44 am

    Thanks Tracie for your message on praying for marriages. I have the most wonderful, thoughtful, caring husband that would give me the world if he could. I realize how blessed I am now but it wasn’t always like that. I was married to a very abusive, mean husband that inflicted physical pain on my little son and mental abuse on me. This man I’m married to now is the brother of my former husband. That caused mental stress right there. Thank God I discovered the blessing God gave me before it was to late. Right now he’s starting to have some mental memory problems that I’m praying for. We do have financial problems too. I’m so very glad I woke up and saw how I had been blessed before I lost it. He has diabetes so that prevents some normal activities that go on in a marriage. I love this wonderful man and ask pray for him physically and mentally. I count my blessings and I’m starting to name them one by one.
    Thank you for honoring this subject this week. This is the glue that holds the family together. I know I’ve failed in so many ways but I want to achieve a goal of happily married. I never saw a good marriage growing up and neither did my husband but we’re seeing it now.



  12. Judy S. on Tuesday, September 29, 2015 at 4:11 am

    Dear Tracie,

    I have struggled and after almost 9 years, my husband and I finally started reconnecting and due to conflict with his mother we have even moved out and are living on our own. Things were going fine till this Sunday morning. Something I didn’t do for my daughter upset him and when I went to talk to him about it , it exploded into a war that has been raging between us for the last two days now and growing worse to the point of everything going back to square one and I don’t want that to happen. We both have said some very hurtful things to each other and I feel like the biggest loser right now. I’ve tried to apologize but it s not accepted and it gets into another ruckus. I am a very hot headed person and even though I’ve been trying not to fly off the handle verbally, I’ve failed miserably and am in danger of losing everything we worked so hard to build till now. He doesn’t want to accept his part of the mistake and that’s what makes me lose control and mess up.

    I know its going to take time for us to be normal with each other again but his lack of understanding is very hurtful to me. Even when I tell him what is bothering me and how its affecting me, he just doesn’t want to deal with it or brushes it off and that hurts. Please pray first for both of us to come to a place of humility and forgiveness and to start listening to each other and share our hearts and anguishes with wisdom and in a peaceful manner.

    I am very lost and alone right now. Please pray for forgiveness, understanding and restoration. He is hurting too and I hate that I’ve done that too him. I want a permanent and complete healing for our marriage.



  13. Tami on Tuesday, September 29, 2015 at 2:55 pm

    Thank you great timing as just saw the War Room last week. Financial worries are the biggest stressor of our marriage now!



  14. Bre on Wednesday, September 30, 2015 at 9:36 am

    Four years ago, I learned my husband has loved an old girlfriend for over 20 years of our marriage. It came up out of the blue just before our 20th anniversary. I was so heart broken and have suffered since. I’ve prayed, sought understanding in so many ways, but nothing seemed to help. After reading yesterday’s reading from you, something changed. It was as if the enemy just decided to move on. Your remarks about the rope exploding and breaking made sense to me, and I felt like I could close that painful chapter and move on. This morning I still feel more at peace, like it will be a closed chapter.Thank you Tracie, your words of enlightenment were healing. Blessings to you.



Headshot Flipped 2

Tracie Miles is a bestselling author and the Director of COMPEL Training with Proverbs 31 Ministries.  She helps women grow stronger in their faith, pursue the life of purpose God designed them for and live a life of peace, joy and happiness despite their circumstances.

Living-Unbroken-3DwithShadow

Available Now!

Subscribe to Tracie’s Blog

Receive the Living Unbroken Battle Plan Workbook for free if you subscribe to Tracie’s blog today!
Something went wrong. Please check your entries and try again.

Tracie's Books